Das passiert, wenn man Mütter um Rat fragt

Einen lustigen Beitrag haben wir auf der Plattform Reddit gefunden. Eine Mutter zeigt in einem umgedichteten Kinderlied auf sarkastische Weise was passiert, wenn man in Eltern-Gruppen um Rat fragt. Hier ist alles dabei: Nur kein guter Rat.

 

10 kleine Affen…..

 

Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed,
one fell off and bumped his head.
Mama asked the mom group and the
mom group said:
Have you tries essential oils? I hear
Hyperactivity is a vaccine injuy. I’m calling
CPS.

 

Nine little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom group and the Mom group said
„Have you thought about cutting out sugar and gluten, because my little angel is pure perfection since we have and also our discussions of the rules really set boundaries for him, even though he’s only two.“

 

Eight little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom group and the Mom group said:
„First of all, what where you doing when they were jumping on the bed? You should have stopped that before it happened. But if you must leave them alone to attend to your bathroom needs, at least install a bed guard rail and pad your floors. Here, I know a good site.“

 

Seven little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma asked the mom group and mom group said,
„You obviously didn’t nurse long enough. My snowflake is immune to jumping thanks to extended breastfeeding (nine years and counting!!!)“

 

Six little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom group and the Mom group said:
„Was he wearing his Baltic Amber necklace? He wouldn’t be in so much pain if he was wearing rocks with mystical properties!“

 

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom group and the Mom group said:
„I’m only two weeks in and so far I’ve managed to get enough sleep, cook decent meals for my family, keep my apartment clean… and my newborn hasn’t fallen off the bed. I think too many people are mistaking laziness for normal parenthood ordeals.“

 

Four little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom group and the Mom group said,
„I have 3 used cloth diapers and an original baby Bjorn used with all 7 of my home birthed children for sale. $75 each or $1,000 for the lot.“

 

Three little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma asked the Mom groups and the mom group said,
„If you didn’t abandon your precious little one every day to work in a corporate environment while he is raised in a daycare like a child raised by wolves, he wouldn’t feel the need to jump for your attention.“

 

One little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and bumped his head.
Mama called the Mom’s Group and the Mom’s Group said
„is your monkey very stiff? We’ve been sending little Archer to baby yoga
and baby chiropractic since he was 2 weeks old and now he’s so limber and loose he just rolls when he falls down like week old falafel“.

TEILEN